I’m so happy. I had thought that these past two weeks had gone by really fast, but now that I think about it it feels like FOREVER since I’ve seen him. Now we’re going to get to spend three and a half hours together tomorrow before the show.
Excuse my over-excitement, but I really miss that boy.
It starts innocently. Don’t you want to be healthy? It gets demanding. Skip this one, you don’t need it. It gets relentless. Run. Run. Run. Everything else can wait. It gets hostile. You fat pig. You can’t do that. It gets destructive. Get it out. It gets overwhelming. You fat pig. Run, run run. You don’t need that. Don’t stop now. You’re weak. You’re weak. You’re weak. And then it can either stop. Or you will end.
There are some truly loving people at this school.
I was eating breakfast by myself this morning, and this guy came in who I’ve known for a while because he’s dating one of my friends back home, and he sat with me. We’re not really friends or anything, but we’ve been talking a bit lately so I didn’t feel too anxious about it. So we talk for a few minutes, and then he says,”Alright so I was creeping your facebook the other day, and in your prom pictures you looked really thin. Like sick. Were you okay? And are you okay?” and I could tell that he genuinely cared. So I just told him a little bit about what I’d went through (minus the back story and didn’t go into terrible detail), and we just talked until he had to go to class.
What do you drink with dinner? Water. But tonight I was hardcore craving a diet coke and since there are worse things to crave I went to get some but it turns out our school has Pepsi products (if that tells you how often I drink soda, I didn’t even know what kind we have), so I had roughly 10 ounces of diet Pepsi. DON’T JUDGE ME.
What is your favourite food? Most definitely curry.
Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Making skis. We really want to open our own ski shop where we custom make skis.
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? 2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? 3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? 4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before? 5:Do you like to use post-it notes? 6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? 7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? 8:Do you have freckles? 9:Do you always smile for pictures? 10:What is your biggest pet peeve? 11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk? 12:Have you ever peed in the woods? 13:What about pooped in the woods? 14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? 15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? 16:How many people have you slept with this week? 17:What size is your bed? 18:What is your Song of the week? 19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? 20:Do you still watch cartoons? 21:Whats your least favorite movie? 22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? 23:What do you drink with dinner? 24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? 25:What is your favorite food? 26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? 27:Last person you kissed/kissed you? 28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? 29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? 30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? 31:Can you change the oil on a car? 32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? 33:Ever ran out of gas? 34:Favorite kind of sandwich? 35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? 36:What is your usual bedtime? 37:Are you lazy? 38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? 39:What is your Chinese astrological sign? 40:How many languages can you speak? 41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? 42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? 43:Are you stubborn? 44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman? 45:Ever watch soap operas? 46:Are you afraid of heights? 47:Do you sing in the car? 48:Do you sing in the shower? 49:Do you dance in the car? 50:Ever used a gun? 51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? 53:Is Christmas stressful? 54:Ever eat a pierogi? 55:Favorite type of fruit pie? 56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 57:Do you believe in ghosts? 58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 59:Take a vitamin daily? 60:Wear slippers? 61:Wear a bath robe? 62:What do you wear to bed? 63:First concert? 64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? 65:Nike or Adidas? 66:Cheetos Or Fritos? 67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? 68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? 69:Ever take dance lessons? 70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? 71:Can you curl your tongue? 72:Ever won a spelling bee? 73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? 74:Own any record albums? 75:Own a record player? 76:Regularly burn incense? 77:Ever been in love? 78:Who would you like to see in concert? 79:What was the last concert you saw? 80:Hot tea or cold tea? 81:Tea or coffee? 82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? 83:Can you swim well? 84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 85:Are you patient? 86:DJ or band, at a wedding? 87:Ever won a contest? 88:Ever have plastic surgery? 89:Which are better black or green olives? 90:Can you knit or crochet? 91:Best room for a fireplace? 92:Do you want to get married? 93:If married, how long have you been married? 94:Who was your HS crush? 95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? 96:Do you have kids? 97:Do you want kids? 98:Whats your favorite color? 99:Do you miss anyone right now?
Okayyy, XC course is WAY too muddy for use currently.
The end of our course is straight uphill, so I was going to use that for my sprints since it’s secluded and a nice grade, but I tried to take one step on it and just about fell and died. So I used the hill that we sometimes run for soccer instead, and it was still muddy, but no so terribly treacherous. I love hill sprints. They’re one of my comfort things - parts of my ED behaviours that felt so very safe to me. When I was upset, I’d do hill repeats. When I felt weak or nauseous after a run, I’d drink carnation instant breakfast made with soymilk. When I was gaining weight, I did my soccer workout everyday and burning all of those calories made me feel not so frantic, so now my soccer warmup calms me down as well. I still find comfort in these things, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
It’s one thing to hold hands sometimes. It’s one thing to put your arm around you girlfriend when you’re watching TV in the commons. It’s one thing to kiss your boyfriend after he walks you to class.
But I can think of like 6 or 8 couples that EVERY time I see them they’re either cuddling or making out. They always sit on the same side of the booth at lunch. They never quit holding hands.
It just makes me wonder, is the physical aspect of your relationship really THAT important? Because I mean, Jordan and I hold hands sometimes. We occasionally kiss in public, if it’s a hello or a goodbye. He’ll put his arm around me if we’re watching a movie with people. But that’s the minority. Usually when we’re together in public we’re just people. We act like friends do. And this is even with the fact that we don’t see each other much.
These couples see each other EVERYDAY, yet every night before bed they’re in the commons making out like they’ll never see each other again. I seriously don’t get it.
I just burned some mega freaking calories on that stage.
Since my costume is so awesome, the director wants me onstage a lot more than I was originally, so now in addition to sprinting around the theater and dancing under the lights, I’m also running around on stage with the mice, trying to eat them (I’m a bird). And my costume is basically wearing a hoodie wrapped in a fur blanket with a ski mask.
(Harley is my roommate’s boyfriend in case you don’t know)
Anyway, when I walked into the chapel for Expressions rehearsal he goes,”Hey. Smile.” and then when we all tried on our costumes and were going through lines and I was just sitting there he goes,”You’re totally going to steal the show.”
I have really good friends, and I need to not want to punch them in the face so often.