January 2012
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My run today was miserable, frankly.
But I was talking to Jordan about it and I realized something.
One year ago today, he and I ran one mile in 8 minutes, and I thought I was going to die. I felt awful.
3 and a half months later, I ran an 18:41 5k.
So yeah, my injury this fall set me back. It screwed up my training and I haven’t been able to get consistent again. But there’s nothing that says I can’t be...
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Well that didn't go as planned...
We got to Jordan’s friend’s house, and I didn’t know anyone, and no one said a word to me, so I’m just sitting there by Jordan, trying not to look awkward as hell. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure the average IQ in this room is about a 90, there are only two other girls there, every other word that anyone says is fuck, everyone is drunk, and honestly we just stick out like...
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1. Not really. If I let myself eat peanut butter straight out of the jar I usually eat a ton of it though.
2. I don’t feel like I’ve ever been shy - I’m socially anxious and I’m introvert, but I don’t feel like I’m shy. I enjoy being around people and I enjoy talking to people - on my own terms.
3. Nope, I’m in a social club. We don’t have...
December 2011
Heading out with Jordan and his brother.
To spend the evening with people I don’t know.
Uh, I’m nervous.
Not sure if all of you know this but I have a fair amount of social anxiety, and because of this Jordan pretty much never brings me around his friends, because he knows how much it makes me freak out. But I told him that it was important to me to spend new year’s eve with him, and we can’t just stay at my...
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Notable events in 2011.
January:
On the way to a soccer game, I made my new year’s resolution. And man did I keep it.
Went on the ski trip! Gearing up for the second annual one now, with all of the same lovely people <3
Saw my 6-pack for the first time.
Went to the doctor for a physical. I asked him if my weight was okay. He asked me if my periods were regular. I said yes, because I’d just had one. It...
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Anonymous asked: how did running lead to unhealthy weight loss for you?
Anonymous asked: Does your boyfriend not go to school?
I'm going to go for a two mile run.
My old favourite straight uphill run. My first track meet is in two weeks and if I’m going to run I have to commit.
I hate that I’ve come to be afraid of running. I’m right back to where I was last December, unsure of what running consistently might trigger in me, only worse, because I saw what happened before.
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Yesterday was kinda wonderful.
I had my parents drop me off at Jordan’s on our way back into town, and he and I cuddled/wrestled for 3 hours (Date #1), went to my house and ate dinner then went to the mall, bought me some Vans slip-ons, then saw Sherlock Holmes (Date #2), then bought a frozen pizza, came back to my house, cooked it and ate it and had second dinner while we watched part of Easy A (Date #3). So we made up...
runlikeh3ll asked: “Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag back.” :)
Vlog fail today.
I never got a chance until it was dark outside, and there’s no where for me to get away to make it inside.
I will compile your ideas and make it ASAP :)
So I just dragged and dropped my sidebar picture...
And the visually similar images were all models on the runway.
Self esteem has officially been boosted.
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quiet desperation: Honey and Cinnamon Acne Skin... →
nothanksimnothungry:
I’ve gotten a lot of questions about this so I decided to just make a post about it.
So this mask is useful for moisture renewal, breakouts or acne, and to fade hyper-pigmentation (dark spots!)
What you need
Manuka Honey or Raw Honey
Cinnamon Powder
Mix honey and…
Just a disclaimer - PATCH TEST THIS. When I put the honey and cinnamon in my hair the other night...
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I'm going to do a v-log tomorrow! *
So you have from now until I do it to tell me what you would like to see me talk about. I’ll put in the most popular stuff, and the stuff I like best.
*Unless it’s pouring rain and I can’t go outside.
Two lessons I've learned today:
Bad days still happen, fear foods are still scary when you’re faced with 4 at a time, but that stress is very temporary if you don’t let it eat you
Frustration doesn’t get you anywhere. Hard work does.
What would you like to see more of on this blog?
I know that for the past 6 months or so it’s been a random mish mash of posts, and it always will be to a certain extent, but is there anything you’d particularly like me to post about?
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When I hoop
Expectation:
Reality:
Gym fixes errthang.
I really feel so much better now. Even though my hoop is making me want to claw my eyes out. After I finished my leg stuff I was hooping at the gym, and the hoop there is slightly lighter, and I was doing all this awesome knee stuff I’d never done before, then I got back here and couldn’t do it with my own hoop. So I’m not letting myself go inside until I can.
What happened this morning.
They ask how many eggs I want. I say one. They give me two, sitting in a puddle of butter, my biggest fear food. My grandpa gives me a biscuit before I have a chance to even decide if I want one. He asks if I want another and I say no thank you. He says “You need to get some meat on those bones.” my dad says “She has enough meat on her bones.” and although I know he meant...
Stop talking about my weight. Stop trying to force me to eat food. Stop giving me more than I asked for.
It’s been a while since I’ve cried over food but I’m really close right now.
Stealth mission complete!
Mixture has been made, put in my hair, and washed out. Now I wait til it’s dry tomorrow to see what happens. I’ve never done this before.
Not being close with your extended family SUCKS.
I only have one set of grandparents, my dad’s parents. They’re just good old southerners, conservative church of Christ to the bone. I love them, and they love me, but they do not know me. They have never once been able to relate to me, my brother or my mom. My grandma is SO uptight and we just make her extremely uncomfortable.
And right now I really want to lighten my hair with honey...
Recovery is a good choice to make.
I know it’s hard to see when you’re in the midst of your struggle, but it really is so worth it.
athletegirl asked: Assuming you were hungry right now; if you could have anything in the world to eat at this moment, what would it be?
So I just wrote a letter to Kayla to put in the...
And it was so ridiculously therapeutic. I love writing real letters.
What do people gain by sending anonymous hate?
I truly do not understand it. What does that validate for you? How could hurting someone else possibly make you feel any sort of joy?
I'm lovely.
It shouldn’t be taboo to admit your beauty.
Own it.
Reading my old blog is fantastic.
I totally forgot that Jordan thought he was hatched from an egg his parents found in the yard until he was 6.
Just got back from the gym with my dad and...
The equipment isn’t as nice as it is at my gym at home, but there was this downstairs area with mats and mirrors and all different sized boxes and a hula hoop. So I did legs and a little abs upstairs, then went downstairs and did some box jumps and then hooped forever. It was amazing to hoop in that huge open space being able to see my every move in the mirror, I discovered that I can do way...
A pointed explanation of how things really are.
qumran:
You love me because you’re fascinated by me, because you don’t understand me.
He loves me because he understands everything about me, because we’re the same, only with different details.
So yeah, maybe he doesn’t always put up with my bullshit, but that’s because he knows that it’s bullshit and he’s challenging me to be better than that. Maybe he doesn’t always tell me I’m me that I’m...
My BMI is over 17 for the first time in a year.
qumran:
And I’m glad. I always want to be small, but I don’t ever want to go back to where I was two months ago. I’m much more beautiful at 107 lbs than I was at 97 lbs. Skinny can be healthy.
From my old blog. That brief moment after I recovered the first time where I could actually see my body for what it really looked like. And I was happy with it. Roughly a month later I started losing...
So Aasir is texting me
And things are so freaking weird between us, we end up getting all awkward and talking like English scholars in the 1850s.
I think it’s because I think he’s a pretentious douche but I feel dumb talking to him if I don’t act like a pretentious douche too.
noname-slobs:
this is cortne, 99mirrors,wannabesmallpants,highwastedgenes. Please reblog loves. COME BACK TO ME. xx
For everyone who has ever known Cortne :)
My grandma got me peanut butter and nutella for...
“I know you like protein.”
manicdepressionconfessions:
No. 350
the worst thing about manic depression is not the mania or the depression. the moods make me feel alive. / the worst thing about being a manic depressive is never knowing if what you are feeling is real. / if my emotions are fake, what does that make me?
I believe I vented almost these exact words to Sarah last semester. Wow. It is so true.
My BMI is 20.
I don’t know how that makes me feel. 15.8 to 20 in 6 months. I didn’t get much time to adjust.
